Friday, July 15, 2005

You Can't Go Home Again


That's what they say anyway. I hope it's not true, because that's my plan.

I came to OK with a company because of an outsourcing and downsizing. After I arrived, there were layoffs, another outsourcing, and more layoffs until my number came up.

Since a friend in my department was fired immediately when she turned in her resignation, at the time of the initial outsourcing in this particular thread of outsourcings, I expected it to happen to me some day. After I arrived in OK, I watched people being walked out five times before they did it to me.

Big business is not 'employee-friendly' when it comes to making money for their investors. From the view from the bottom of the ladder, it looks like they are not thinking about the employees at all when they make decisions. I understand the need to save money and increase productivity. What I do not understand is the need to destroy employee morale (for the survivors of these angel of death walks) in the process.

That's not really what I started out to say. I didn't intend to get on my 'evils of corporate America' soapbox. In spite of that view, I don't think anyone owes me anything. I would appreciate it if they didn't treat me like refuse, but I do not expect anyone to make life easy for me or give me anything I don't work for.

I have chosen, over the years of working and living through mergers, outsourcings, and layoffs, to believe that that I am better off after each of these events. I think this is the healthiest way to view my situations, because my other option would be to view myself as a victim. I do not enjoy that role in myself or in anyone around me.

I have chosen to believe that every time I have 'lost' my job (by being rolled into a new company or a new job because of one of these events), I have come out of the situation better off somehow. I even chose to believe that when I was laid off. I told myself it was an opportunity. (This did not mean I was not offended by the corporate freezing out and the indignity of being on the 'receiving end' of such a hostile action.)

Because of the layoff (RIF, they called it, "reduction in force"), I had the opportunity to leave a situation I would not have chosen to leave. Leaving meant I had the opportunity to explore some options I had not taken the time for prior to that. And, leaving meant I was free to find a new direction. It is because of paths not chosen, that I have had the opportunity to choose new paths.

For the past two years, I've been working for less than 1/3 my previous pay. But, I've enjoyed my work (with adults who have developmental disabilities). And, since I've worked the "has no life" shift (weekends), I've had the opportunity to go to school full-time for most of the past two years.

I have thoroughly enjoyed the individuals I have served. Knowing them and working with them has been a wonderful time for me. I don't like politics in business, but I have cared a great deal for the ones I served.

My current job (working in the group home)is now coming to an end. This is happening just as my paramedic program is ending and my RN program is about to begin.

Once again, I am looking for the next opportunity. I am adding in the new options, and taking away the ones that no longer exist, and I'm laying all the cards out on the table and looking at everything yet again to see if my current plan is the right one for me.

I'll either continue with the RN program as planned this fall and look for part-time work in a hospital (or not work and live on borrowed money). Or, I'll defer the start of the RN program until the Spring semester next year, and spend this semester getting settled into a new job (and finishing up my internships and testing for the paramedic program).

Either way, it will be okay.

I just have to step back and let it be for a few days. Step back and take a deep breath and do something else for awhile. And, when I come back to all the options, I'll know which one is the right one to choose.

All of this school is with one functional goal in mind. I will be trained, qualified, and licensed to do work that will provide me the opportunity to go where I want, live where I want, and work where I want. This is all happening with going home as my ultimate goal.

I'd like to think you can go home again.

posted by jordanrep.com/10522 @ 8:05 PM