Tumbling Down the Mountain
If you read my post The View From the Mountain, you know how I like to see things. I like to be able to back away from 'in your face' troubles and see my life from a larger perspective.I know that much of life is in the details. All the small things add up to all the big things. But, when it comes to difficult times in life, or even good times, sometimes all the details can be just a little too much to deal with when they are up close and personal.
Sometimes it's good to be able to back away, if only in my mind, and view situations from a different place with a little more distance. Looking at things from a different viewpoint can make all the difference in the world.
I like to be able to do that. But, I am not always able to do it. It is especially difficult when I make a mistake that causes injury to myself or others.
(Even in this blog world, I make mistakes that cause me grief. I already wrote this post once, and I said it better than I'm saying it now. But, I forgot to 'save as draft' before clicking a link, and it all disappeared. Now, I'm having to start over and try to write it again.)
I came tumbling down the mountain last night, and lost my bigger perspective, when I realized that the date that has been in my mind this week ("April 26th") was there for a good reason.
I've been procrastinating about looking for some paperwork. I don't know why. Somehow, I convinced myself that I didn't know where it was. But, I did know. Last night, when I finally reached for it, it was in the very place I'd left it a few weeks ago. And, that was 1st place I looked.
Because of my willingness to believe my own misdirection, "You probably have until the end of April. Just be sure to take care of it by the end of April," I missed the deadline for a $150 rebate.
In my world, $150 is significant. Waiting past the deadline to recover a $150 rebate is the kind of thing many people would be very angry with another person for doing. I'm not very happy with myself either.
In my world, $150 would have filled my car's gas tank for more than a month, even at the high prices we're paying now. In my world, $150 would have bought food to eat for weeks. In my world, $150 would have taken care of car repairs and food for my animals. In my world, with my current low level of income (by comparison to other times in my life or some other incomes in this country), $150 is not much less than my take home pay for a forty-hour work week.
It was no small matter for me to 'forget' to make the effort to take care of that rebate. I made a poor choice, and I made it again and again every time I put off taking care of that rebate paperwork. It was my mistake. It is my loss.
Now, I need to put it behind me and move on.
If I can back away, and move back up the mountain, I will see that "It's just money." And, I will see that I'll have more money some day. And, I will see that in the larger scheme of things, it probably is not as significant as it feels to me right now.
I hope I'll also see something that will help me make sure I don't do that again. It may be be 'just money', but it's a significant amount for me to have just thrown away for no better reason than not making an effort to take care of paperwork on time.
posted by jordanrep.com/10522 @ 2:11 PM
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